Now that you've learned the basics of a revamp, we're going to turn to the topic of extent of information, as I like to call it. This assignment has 2 parts, both of which are detailed below, and the basic idea is for you to develop an understanding of how much info a page needs, how much info is too much, and how much info is too little.
Keep my previous comments in mind and make sure to proofread to get rid of grammar, spelling, and punctuation mistakes. Leave a message in the comments section if you're having trouble, or contact me on the IRC. Otherwise, post summaries in each summary section once you're done. Note that there is no order or time limit to these assignments, so feel free to do them as you choose. Good luck. --NOSTALGIA TALK 23:10, March 30, 2013 (UTC)
|Update on assignment
- Frag, I don't mean to come off as a dick but it's been 2 weeks since I gave the assignment and you have not posted any progress. I've seen you editing actively around the wiki, which is great, but you should know that your assignments are a priority above other editing work. I'm fine with you editing on Microsoft Word or another offline source, and I understand if you have real-life commitments that prevent you from working on it, but you have to tell me so that I know. --NOSTALGIA TALK 19:03, April 13, 2013 (UTC)
- Sorry Nos, I have been doing it on microsoft word, and I am finished editing them. Hopefully I can post by tomorrow, but as of right now I am writing this from a hotel room on an Ipad (I am at my grandad's funeral). My plan is to post as soon as I get back tomorrow, but just so you know I might not be very active here for a few days after that. Thanks, --Fragment -Animus- 03:46, April 15, 2013 (UTC)
- No apology needed, Frag. I apologize for my prior comment that comes off as harsh and dickish; I only meant to ask you for an update while letting you know that it'd be helpful if you told me about where you planned to edit or if you have anything that kept you busy. Just let me know in the future so confusion like this doesn't arise :) Sorry for your loss as well. I know I felt like shit when my mom passed so I understand if you need to take some time off. No rush on the assignment either, as always, just keep me updated. --NOSTALGIA TALK 01:19, April 16, 2013 (UTC)
- No worries. Another small heads up, my brother was in the marathon today, and I have yet to hear from him... its been a rather emotional week for me right now, so I apologize for been a bit inactive. Hope you will understand, --Fragment -Animus- 02:42, April 16, 2013 (UTC)
- I understand. I bet you'll here from him soon, just try and stay positive. Remember that real-life comes before this wiki so I understand if you need time off, just let me know. --NOSTALGIA TALK 00:41, April 17, 2013 (UTC)
- Thanks Nos, he is in the hospital right now, but he is overall ok. Ill try and post these assignments as soon as I get home. --Fragment -Animus- 02:51, April 17, 2013 (UTC)
For the first part, I want you to go to Edward Braddock. You'll notice the article goes into extreme detail in the biography subsections, which is not needed. Therefore, I want you to cut the sections down so they are more concise and to the point. This will entail removing some information and rewording other bits to be concise. Add some spacing and cut the information down so it doesn't go into unnecessary detail. Check out Israel Putnam if you're unsure about how in-depth the info needs to be.
Welp, I attempted to cut down on useless information while still keeping the original form. I also got rid of extra information that really wasn't very relevant, and more or less repeated what other passages had already stated. I did change up the language a bit, but I don't think that affected the article too much. --Fragment -Animus- 00:05, September 2, 2013 (UTC)
For the second part, check out Boston Tea Party, which is almost completely bare. I want you to expand the article so it fully details the Tea Party in an organized manner. Make sure to include all appropriate sections as other event articles do. Check out The Tea Party and Hostile Negotiations for info and images, and Destruction of the Great Chain if you're unsure how to organize an event article and what it entails.
Expanded the best I could without focusing TOO much on Connor (seemed to be an issue for me). But regardless I think all needed information is there. --Fragment -Animus- 00:05, September 2, 2013 (UTC)
- I look forward to seeing your work, and will have more work for you when you finish this one. Stormbeast ♉ The Helpful Place 02:08, July 31, 2013 (UTC)
- No rush, Frag. Hope nothing's too serious :/ Stormbeast ♉ The Helpful Place 23:47, August 3, 2013 (UTC)
- After finally having the time to review your assignment, I'd say you did a good job. Don't let Slate's edit discourage you; he's always been a master of wordiness. However, my words of wisdom:
- As Nos mentioned: keep focusing on your links. I noticed a duplicate link, as well as a couple redirects.
- As Nesty mentioned: check your proofreading for spelling and grammatical errors.
- Avoid the term Mohawk whenever possible.
- Avoid and so, as well as biased writing (luckily).
All-in-all, a job well done, worthy of a promotion. Your new tasks will be assigned after we have talked. You know where to find me if you have any questions. Stormbeast ♉ The Helpful Place 04:23, September 10, 2013 (UTC)