User blog:ZBlue0/Super Connor Kenway

Good day, Assassins and Templars and....others... This is my first blog, so I thought I'd share a little story and a few jokes regarding the Kenway family.

Ok, so it all started one Saturday afternoon with my cousin and I playing Assassin's Creed 3 at his house. He had just gotten the game about a few days before and was somewhere around the middle of the main story. On that specific day, we spent most of our time abusing the combat system on any and every guard we could find. Also on that day, the game randomly decided it wanted to mess with us and glitch out whenever possible. It especially glitched out during combat sequences. Everything happened. Connor doing super jumps, teleporting around the battle, you name it, it happened (this was before the patches).

One particularly funny thing that occured was, during a double-counter, Connor picked up an iron tomahawk, held it backhanded so that the iron top of it was below his fist, and JAMMED it halfway through a guard's spine. We laughed at how that would pretty much be impossible for any regular human to do (due to the shape of the tomahawk), but it just escalated from there on. We started to notice the little things like guards dying instantly just from being pushed into a wall, the guards not recognizing Connor even though he walks with tons of weapons in an outfit that barely fits the era (possibly intentionally lol), and Connor/Haytham's general excess aggressiveness during fights (Like Haytham slashing one guy with his sword multiple times before stabbing him with the hidden blade. Or Connor viciously jamming his hidden blade straight into an animal's dead body when skinning them. < *This is nothing compared to what John Marston does in Red Dead, btw*). We even started to laugh at the E3 trailer, when Connor basically goes Rambo against an entire army of highly trained soldiers without ever getting touched.

Now let me get something straight, it's not like we expected the game to be 100% realistic, but some of this stuff is just way too crazy for an AC game. We also understand that some of the things listed were glitches and silly stuff, but it's way funnier to think that Connor's just a beast, like some kind of 18th Century Kratos.

Anyway, that was pretty much the basis of our AC3 gaming...until the Washington DLC, that is. Now Connor can turn invisible, summon wolves,...etc. We came up with all these crazy ideas like, regarding the wolves, Connor simply slaughtered so many wolves during AC3's timeframe that now, the wolves just gave up and thought, "Eh, if you can't beat him, join him". As for Connor's mother coming back, my friend joked that Connor used his regenerating powers to revive her. And, about the invisibility, well...we just simply said that Connor has reached Super Saiyan 10.

Simply put, Connor has become to us, what Chuck Norris became to the internet in 2005. In fact, since Connor apparently lived in a time before Chuck, we say that Chuck Norris is a descendant of Connor Kenway along with all the other badasses who lived after his time (Batman, John Marston, Samuel L. Jackson...etc).

So yeah, that's about it. I just wanted to share this with the people of the AC wiki. Feel free to share your thoughts, come up with new jokes, criticize my grammar and overall use of the Blog feature, you know. The good stuff. Cya :P