Database: Shaun Hastings (Assassin's Creed III)

Date of Birth: How rude! It shall never be revealed. Never.

I am your humble database scribe. A wordsmith. My name is Shaun Hastings, and I'm an Assassin, like you, though a little better. And like most of you, I wasn't born into it. I wasn't raised to join the Brotherhood. As a brash, inquisitive, and dare I say it, handsome young lad, I was obsessed with conspiracy theories and the unexplained. I started digging into the nasty bits of Abstergo Industries, of which there are legion, and attempted to play whistleblower. Freedom of information! Huzzah! But all that got me was an appointment with a Templar death squad.

(Translation: Shaun found a millenna-old conspiracy that reached the highest levels of power imaginable and thought the best idea ever would be to shout and wave at it. -RC)

Lucky for me, I was saved from certain death by the technological witchcract of one Rebecca Crane. She brought me into the Assassins, and I've been here, improving their lives, making entertaining chit-chat and boosting morale ever since.

(Translation: All I do for the Assassins is build shit and save Shaun's life. -RC)

I've mostly served as a historian and analyst for field agents. I have a gift for organization, you see, I'm able to see patterns and connections. As such, the Assassins would be lost without me. And they'd all be saying 'a' historian instead of 'an' historian and I'd probably explode.

But I'm much more than two wonderful forearms, an enormous brain, two twinkly eyes, and a talent for grammar. I've been trained by our grumpy Mentor - William Miles himself - and I've become a bona fide field agent. I take great joy in striking at the Templars whenever and however I can. I've infiltrated Abstergo Entertainment. I blew up a Templar lab. I'm really very impressive, if I do say so myself.

You may think I'm an arrogant bastard, but that's only because I'm smarter than you and this one time I helped save the entire planet from a massive solar flare. But I hear you're shit-hot at video games and can walk upright, so well done you, you should be very proud.